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The following example is provided for learning
purposes only. This example is not based on real people and any
similarity to real people is not intended.
The District Court judge strongly recommended mediation for Mr.
and Mrs. Fish and Mr. and Mrs. Johnson after suit and counter-suit
were filed by these parties with the District court.
A dispute of long standing existed between these next door neighbors
that involved the following complaints: a) the parking of a large
motor home on the street that made it difficult to enter and exit
driveways safely, b) failure to adequately supervise young children
and pets c) excess noise late at night, d) harassment in the form
of frequent calls to the Sheriff, Department of Social Services,
and Animal Control, and d) insulting and menacing behavior towards
one another.
Included in the mediation, with the consent of the Complainant and
Respondent, were several neighbors and one additional family member.
Initially the exchange of complaints and charges and counter charges
was loud and angry. The mediator reflected back to the parties the
feelings they expressed and their views of the problems. This slowed
down the angry exchanges and helped both sides see their own feelings
and views in a new light and better understand the feelings and
motivations of the other side.
It took some time but with an opportunity to state their frustrations
and to better understand the other parties’ point of view
the focus shifted from anger and blame to the basic issues. It was
then increasingly easy for the disputants to think of creative options
to the many conflicts between them.
The Fish’s agreed to complete a tall privacy fence on the
property line to keep children and pets in their own yards. Mr.
Johnson thought of a different way to park the motor home to improve
the view of traffic on the street. The parties agreed to call one
another to try to trouble shoot problems before making complaints
to law enforcement or other agencies. They agreed on an acceptable
noise level and an evening cut off time for the music. And very
importantly they agreed to ask again for mediation if their efforts
to fix problems failed.
These families did not necessarily leave mediation liking each
other any better. They did, however, have a better understanding
of the other families’ view of things and more confidence
that they could address problems before they escalated into court
battles.
Conflict over childcare
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